With the Oscars set to be awarded this Sunday, we thought we would depart from our usual format and offer up our predictions for who will be the big winners. In keeping with the theme of our site, we have managed to see none of the movies actually nominated this year with the exceptions of Moneyball and Bridesmaids. The odds-on-favorite, The Artist, we didn’t even know existed until the Golden Globes this year. So it is with our usual level of in-depth analysis that we will attempt to predict the winner of each category.
Now we know what you must be thinking, “Hey, we don’t come here for reviews or predictions based on actual knowledge of the material, we come here for reviews and predictions equivalent to blind stabs in the dark”! To that we say, don’t worry. Everyone already knows Moneyball and Bridesmaids aren’t going to win anything so we might as strike them from the nominees altogether, and thanks, we didn’t think anyone was paying attention to us anyways.
2012 OSCAR PICKS
Actress in a Supporting Role: Octavia Spencer – The Help
She’s won every other major award and there’s no reason to think she won’t get this one too.
Actor in a Supporting Role: Christopher Plummer – Beginners
In the battle of Dragnet vs. Judge Dredd we are going to have employ the same logic used for Supporting Actress here. He’s won everything else so why not this as well? That said, silent film/acting is in this year so it could just as easily go to Von Sydow.
Documentary Short: Daniel Junge & Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy - Saving Face
While normally any title with the name Elvis in it would get our pick, we doubt the Academy would share our views.
Documentary Feature: Joe Berlinger & Bruce Sinofsky - Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory
We figure it’s between this and If a Tree Falls: A Story of the Earth Liberation Front. Due to the timeliness of Paradise Lost 3 however, we are gonna have to lean that way.
Costume Design: Sandy Powell - Hugo
Normally anything remotely Elizabethan would get the nod. Given Powell’s track record though and the fact that Hugo is still a period piece, she’s sure to add another one to the collection.
Animated Feature Film: Fernando Trueba & Javier Mariscal - Chico & Rita
No Pixar to contend with this year so it’s technically up for grabs but look for the Academy to shy away from the CG films this year. So flip a coin between A Cat in Paris and Chico & Rita, that’s what we did.
Cinematography: Emmanuel Lubezki - Tree of Life
This one isn’t even close. Tree of Life might as well have been called A Series of Beautiful Images. It would probably be the biggest upset of the nite if Lubezki doesn’t win.
Visual Effects: Rob Legato, Joss Williams, Ben Grossmann & Alex Henning - Hugo
Hugo is to visual effects what Tree of Life is to cinematography. They exist to service the fields they’re nominated in.
Art Direction: Dante Ferretti (Production Design) & Francesca Lo Schiavo (Set Decoration) - Hugo
Again, look for Hugo to take any and all visual awards.
Makeup: Nick Dudman, Amanda Knight & Lisa Tomblin - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
It’s between Albert Nobbs and The Boy Who Lived but it probably isn’t as close as most would think. Most of the above team have been working on the Potter Franchise from the very beginning. Look for their dedication to be acknowledged with the win.
Music (Original Score): Ludovic Bource - The Artist
Hard to go against John Williams (especially when he’s has not one but TWO nominations in the same year) but we are going with The Artist. Old Timey score gets the nod from an Old Timey Academy
Music (Original Song): Bret Mckenzie, “Man or Muppet” - The Muppets
Going with The Muppets. Why? Cause they’re the Muppets.
Short Film (Animated): William Joyce & Brandon Oldenburg - The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore
How can you not go with an animated film that has a bunch of flying books in it? Sure to get the Oscar if only for the effort.
Short Film (Live Action): Andrew Bowler & Gigi Causey - Time Freak
It’s called Time Freak.
Sound Editing: Ethan Van der Ryn & Erik Aadahl - Transformers: Dark of the Moon
It pains us to even think of a Michael Bay Transformers movie winning any sort of award, but it’s hard to go against any movie where a bunch of heavy machinery turns into robots and beat each other up.
Sound Mixing: Greg P. Russell, Gary Summers, Jeffrey J. Haboush & Peter J. Devlin - Transformers: Dark of the Moon
See above.
Foreign Language Film: Asgar Farhadi - A Separation
We are taking the Hollywood Foreign Press’ lead on this one.
Actress in a Leading Role: Michelle Williams – My Week With Marilyn
With no clear front runner, we are siding with the Golden Globes again. Michelle Williams for the win.
Actor in a Leading Role: George Clooney - The Descendants
This is a pretty even field but using “The Descendants or The Artist” formula (which clearly states that The Descendants will win the performance awards and The Artist will win the craftsman awards), Clooney wins.
Writing (Adapted Screenplay): Steve Zaillian & Aaron Sorkin, Story by Steve Chervin – Moneyball
So we lied and the next two picks will be of movies we actually have seen. However, seeing as how neither of these will be chosen due to their actual content, you should give us a pass. This is more about the amount of effort needed to bring Moneyball to the screen than the actual result (which is quite good incidentally).
Writing (Original Screenplay): Annie Mumolo & Kristin Wiig - Bridesmaids
This is a purely political pick on Hollywoods behalf. Don’t get us wrong, this movie is fantastic and we don’t mean to suggest that it doesn’t actually deserve it, but this would really be the Academy’s way of saying “See? We give Oscars to comedies” without really giving an Oscar to a comedy.
Directing: Martin Scorsese - Hugo
We really can’t see anyone else winning this seeing as how the Academy only appreciates his lesser works. So this year when he’s giving his acceptance speech, just turn the volume off and pretend he’s talking about Goodfellas or Cape Fear.
Best Picture: Jim Burke, Alexander Payne & Jim Taylor – The Descendants
Gotta go with The Descendants again. It was designed to be Oscar bait from the words “Fade In” and we fully expect the Academy to take said bait.
Bonus Picks:
The final face they linger on during the “In Memoriam” portion of the program will be Whitney Houston.
The show will go past midnite EST.